a let down.

Today I realized how much I would be devastated if anything happened to my dog.
I am also disappointed in one person's complete ambivalence to my suffering and my dog's health.

Why can't someone just really show me that they value my feelings and understand the things that are most important to me. I believe that one of the requirements of love is that you should completely accept and care about the other person above all others. And by accept I mean value that others feelings and treat them as your own. Its not enough to say I love you. ever.

There are just some things about one you care about that become apparent over time. And if you consistently miss these things and there significance well then I just don't know what to say. Maybe its because you truly don't love them, or care about them like you want to believe. Nothing is in harmony and yet there is not enough discord to make progress.

les petites misere de la vie humaine....

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings.

...so this is how i feel right now. so confused by life, how am i ever to figure it out...help.

I will opt out...
tired of other people's view on my life.
done.

Just a tired girl trying to do something with her life,
besides the same old.
Sad because this has caused a divide.

I used to depend on you to be an anchor...
now your just a warning sign.

Where do i look now for the lighthouse?

well i'm back.

it has been some time,

game set.

(did you notice the haiku Chance?)

voting in zion

after three attempts in this god forsaken state i am registered to vote! yeah! im going today for early voting. hopefully it will matter. if not, im just voting in my head next time.

effing rams.

steven jackson is now on my axis of evil. thats right. romo is next.

feeling blue and inward.

It's the place that's said to break
It's just as safe from the outside tonight

And I warned them
I face the storms at the tides
From the lighthouse

And I warned them
Unleash the storm and the night

Oh...

What do the waves have to say now?
What do the waves have to say now?

Slow down

And let the waves have their way now
Slow, and let the waves have their day

And I warned them

Here I've been living on roofs made from sin
I put an outward, "Begin, begin."

Here I've been lucid I'm living within
Inwardly urgent and sinking again

The Lighthouse
Interpol